Wishing you and you Family Happiness

January 22, 2008

Journal- My Monday and Tues

Hey All
Well My Kids and I are Home with the Flu
*sigh Must of caught something when I took Jessica or when I went to the Hospital
Now we are all sick
also all this weather change we have been having too
Hope to be on in Little Spouts..
Gonna go lay down
ttyl

January 20, 2008

Journal-My Weekend

This is the first CT scan I got when they found it its Doubled in Size now and is not sittin on top of my uterus I need to go get the new CT scans so i can have a update on this Scan Image

Well My Weekend was sorta ruined by being in pain mostly. For like a couple days I had this reallly bad back and leg pain and i tried to take some pain meds for it but it never really took the pain away. Well Saturday my whole left side of my body was just aching and hurting real bad and i had a terrible headach and my back and pelvic area was KILLING ME...So I called the Doctor and she said to go to the ER now To get a Ultra sound to make sure the Tumor has not twisted.
Well I got to the ER at 6 pm Saturday Night and BOY!!! was it busy...I didnt get called into the back until 6 am that Sunday Morning YES 12 Hours in the waitingroom.
One ladie had a Seizure in the waiting room other then that nothing else really happened so it was quiet boring. I played the crap outta my games on my cell phone till it died *sigh then i was REALLY bored.
Well anyways they got me back in the back in the HALLWAY cause there was no rooms available..So I talked to the doctor and he wanted to do a Full Body CT scan on me to make sure the tumor isnt causing me all this pain. Well they hooked me up to the heart monitor and here my heart is acting retarded (I have arthmia) anyways they give me Pain meds Demolin and Morphine..Let me tell you if you have had pain meds as much as me you would litterly be SICK Of them. Im so tired of them they make me sick to my stomach now and i jus rather not have them..but the pain uhg was bad too..Well anyways I finally got the Cat scan and While in th machine my IV tubed popped and had liquid and blood all OVER my arm all over the machine..and here they had to leave me in this machine while they cleaned it up and fixed my Iv (WHICH MY ARMS WHERE OVER MY HEAD) so 20 mins of that.and being closterphobic even if it was a open CAT scan i t still gave me that sense of not being able to move..but I tried to keep myself calm. and finished the CT Scan

After that The docto came bout a hour later to tell methe Catscan came out good..My leg pain was caused from the tumor cause its sitting on the nerves to it..and my arm pain is from a pench nerve in my Neck...he also told me the CTscan showed another tumor growing on my right over now..and my left overie tumor has gotte HUGER which he put me on steroids to stop it from growing so fast until the Cancer Doctor can get me in for surgery.
SO thats it..Thas my weekend..
My back is killing me so imma get off here in alittle bit but wanted to u p date you on my weekend

January 18, 2008

Journal- My Friday

Morning:
Well I actually Got to sleep in! The Kids didnt have School Today and my Husband was off of work today so HEY they let me sleep In isnt that nice?

Noon:
I did wake up with really bad back pain, So I called the Doctor and the Doctor said it most likely the tumor Pushing all my organs which is pushing on my spine so its causing me so much pain in my back and sides Uhg.

Evening:
Not much talked to a couple friends, Read some Forums on cafemom....I also decided not to make a kit out of the Sarah Blooms kit and just packaged it up as paper..LOL
Well Hubby Just left to go pick up my pain meds....Been in pain Long enough to the point i feel nauseas sooo hope that will help me sit here and create alittle

January 17, 2008

Journal-My Thursday

Morning:
Well, I woke up alittle late this morning, Its raining and Gloomy outside which is probably why
Kids where late for school Ugh I hate these days. We had our first thunderstorm of the year last weekend. Then it was cold for a couple days and started raining.
I feel sorta relaxed alittle this morning trying not to stress myself out
probably do alittle laundry and then sit here and get things done before the little ones wake up
and want breakfast. So Ill catch you Around Noon Time.
~Heather

Noon:
Not much Really, Boys just fell back to sleep so I get alittle more quiet time. Just Chatted with a Couple Friends today on Messanger. and Looked at some websites..Not much else I did today Besides Doing Laundry. Might Take me a Nap. Not sure yet
Evening:

It was a Good night, I Was really Bored last night so I went to the Walmart to get some Groceries around 11 or 12 last night (yea that bored) came home and decided to work on some new papers WELL didn't turn out like I wanted but I stumbled upon something Really Cool and which I kept..That would be the Nana's Linen Closet Paper Pack..They came out SOOO Gorgeous! Such Wonderful Texture and Linen Look too them I was very please with them.
Well last night I tried to go to sleep once i got the papers up on my blog. Then Ended up Tossing and turning all night and didnt actually Sleep until 5 am *sigh I know.

Journal-My Wends

Not much Today Did Normal Household cleaning like usual.
Worked alittle more on my Kit, Got quit a few things done for it
but still not done yet. Its going to be a very very nice kit cant wait till its done.

Kids where real good today they didnt give me a hard time about doing chores
so that was a plus.

Pain wasn't so bad today eather thank goodness.

Chatted with a couple friends about the New Store they are trying to set up
cant wait for that.
Other then that another not so interesting Day.

January 15, 2008

More Tags from my Friend Jennk




More Tags Made for Me By My Friend Jennk aka PrtyBlueEyz

New Tags from My Friends






Some Tags Made for Me From mY Very Good Friends
Jennk
RaeRae
Cora
Wisperina

Pictures- Eliysha LOOK Here son LOL

I took Some Cute Pictures of Eliysha the other day..I tell you that boy is hard to take pictures of cause he moves around to much..well anyways I have a couple I got with my Camera Phone.
Isnt he a Cutie!?


Why Is It So Hard to Meditate?

Why Is It So Hard to Meditate?
It's easy if you take the right approach.

by: Chesa Keane

Even when there are no distractions, the mind will resist focus. The frisky monkey mind takes our attention and bounces it from image to idea to sound to thoughts to gotta-do's to everywhere but where we want to focus. The resulting frustration from not being able to control your mind really shouldn't be all that surprising.

If you began your first efforts at meditation by sitting down to meditate that was probably the worst way to develop your meditation skills. You wouldn't tackle the black run on the ski slope without first learning how to snow plough. And you certainly won't develop your ability to meditate until you develop your skills of concentration and focus.

Most Common Obstacles When Learning to Meditate

There are several complaints that are repeatedly noted as obstacles when learning to meditate. They include:
  • Inability to quiet the mind - you can call this the Frisky Monkey syndrome. Every time you try to quiet the mind, calm your inner awareness, your mind begins to betray you and your goals by day dreaming, by becoming intrigued with your mental to-do list, by listening to sounds around you and following those resulting thoughts down the trail to anywhere but your focus, and so on and so on.

  • Lack of focus - not the same as quieting the mind, focusing is the deliberate attention paid to a distinct idea, concept, image, sound, or value. But when you can't maintain a focal point, you can't reach your mental/meditative goal. This is the Monkey Mind skating across your mental ice rink one more time.

  • Finding the time - the world is so busy these days for everyone. How did we manage to find the time to get anything done 10 years ago? 20 years ago? No doubt there's a conspiracy of time compression going on worldwide. Regardless, if you don't take the time to do the things that improve your life, you are not respecting yourself at some level.

  • Getting Distracted - once you have arrived at the decision to take the time for yourself, if you can't sink into yourself on command and you let the sounds and urgencies of others take over, you are still not showing the self-respect required to develop strong meditation skills.

  • Physical Discomfort - the ability to release stress is not always easy and it certainly can be a distraction when your muscles feel strained. For this reason it is so important to spend time initially in your meditation training to focus on your body and learn to release tension to achieve a deeply relaxed state.
  • Now, no one said it would be easy, this is true. But there is a logical and effective path to developing a deep meditative state. It starts with releasing tension, relaxing the body and controlling the breath. Next follows the technique of focusing on the distracted mind rather than trying to control all thoughts first. When the observed mind begins to let go, the restless thoughts begin to diminish.

    But nothing will work until you decide that it is time to do the work. So many who want to explore the path of meditation to a deeper awareness of self are natural nurturers, compassionate individuals who are, if anything, hyper-responsible people. This personality type finds it difficult to let go, giving more to others than to self out of some deeply felt obligation. The absolute first step is to decide that now is the time to learn to meditate. And the person who is so easily be attracted to meditation is the same one who has the most difficulty putting themselves first. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

    Control is the keyword

    We are not turning the Universe, the earth, the galaxies, the day. We are being turned in the Universe, on the earth, through the galaxies, within the day.

    At what point does the need, the desire and the obsession to control the outcome of absolutely everything become an appropriate goal. Logically, it should be never. But in reality, we just want the World, the Universe, to listen to us. "Listen! Pay attention to me!" we cry out.

    Now, take a deep breath, step back and wake up. You are of the Universe and the earth and the many galaxies, and the day's events. You are not separate from these realities. Lean back just a tad and absorb this Truth. You are part of the Universe. You are a grain of sand on the beaches of life. One grain that cannot on its own move the beach back one tiny bit. But without your one existence as that grain of sand, you would change, through omission, the very direction and nature of that beach.

    Every single cell in your body is an important puzzle piece, just like your very existence is an important influence on every other person. The actual key here is influence. How you touch the day, changes the day. Yet as powerful as you are in your influence, until you learn to flow through the energy of your existence, rather than endlessly pushing and pulling through your molecules, you will make no real impact. The Universe -- as a whole, the sum of its parts -- cannot allow a single cell to disrupt that precious balance.

    To the Universal Harmony, you can add; but you are only able to detract negatively from that Harmony in small, insignificant ways because the whole and the sum of its parts are always in perfect balance.

    The question becomes, then, are you influencing powerfully or as a small annoyance?

    Meditation

    It becomes a matter, then, of deciding where you want to put your attention; determining whether your life will express proactively or only in reaction to the world about you.

    As you develop breath control, deep relaxation and improve your ability to focus, you are ready to face what may seem impossible: controlling your thoughts. The method that is the most effective centers on observing your thoughts, identifying the source of these thoughts and accepting these thought patterns as your own. You may have also to find a way of allowing yourself to be human, forgiving the disappointments and accepting the limiting nature of some of your behavior.

    Finally, it is through observing and truly seeing your patterns that the secret to developing new life patterns by choice rather than by chance reveals itself.

Purposeful Meditation

Why meditate? First, meditating helps you find a sense of center, calmness and self-control. When you meditate, your breathing slows, your blood pressure lowers and you feel calm and relaxed. But in advanced practice, meditation is used to create a "focused intention" as well. That is, if there is something in your life you want to be, have or do, you can create an intention, meditate on it and let it flow to you.

Meditation is a wonderful means of finding peace, joy and happiness in your life. Learning to meditate easily and well is a key to finding success in all areas of your life. The first step in realizing a sense of well-being is by acknowledging that it is only through the acceptance of personal responsibility for your life can you change your life condition to one that reflects success. No one can make you happy; no one can hand you peace; and joy is illusive if you can't find it within yourself, through your own efforts

Until you have had some meditation time under your belt, it might be helpful to have a meditation tool to help you focus your attention. Many use a candle in low light, or listen to soft music and follow the notes with their mind and imagination. There are many ways to learn how to focus your attention, but one of the most successful ways is to have an object that you can infuse with your intention as a reminder of your desired results that you can carry with you. A favorite stone, a crystal, beads, a TAO Totem or some object that you can carry with you will work well for this purpose, reminding you of your calm, purposeful intentions with a simple touch and the resulting calmness your meditation brings. Exploring the world of meditation will lead you to a new depth and purpose in your life.

An important foundation in this understanding: You get in life what you focus on. Focusing on the miseries of your life will only bring you more misery. If you turn your attention to the joys of life, to those things in life that you can appreciate, then you will receive more joy. Through practicing good meditation techniques you can develop strong, positive focusing skills.

There are those who feel that this approach to life is unrealistic but cannot understand why their lives are out of control. Another perspective might be in order. If your life is filled with stress and turmoil and it never seems to end, how about changing your viewpoint? Looking for the good, the balanced and forward-moving aspects in your life - and there are always reasons to be grateful and appreciative in even the worst of conditions - can break that momentum. Not every moment in one's life is stellar and lovely, but every moment has in it an aspect of truth, of clarity and a seed of potential for whatever you want to create.

The next time you find yourself suffering from anxiety, look beyond, look ahead and visualize a better now that will become a better future. Realize that you have survived every crisis in your life only to become stronger. At the darkest moment, you sometimes feel hope slipping away. But just remember how you have made it through every single period of turmoil, wiser and stronger. Treat the successes you've experienced in life as the stepping-stones you will use to get you through the next crisis. Focus on someone you love rather than someone who causes you to feel hurt. Or, better yet, find something about the one who is hurting you to appreciate. Honestly, it's there. Even in the worst of times with the worst of people, it is there.

So how do you get out of the rut of reaction and into the healthy pattern of self-determination? You go within rather than continue to allow yourself to be drawn outside into the world of reacting to whatever is happening around you. You learn to relax at will; you teach yourself to find an inner calmness with which to identify and connect; and you begin to focus your attention where you want rather than be helplessly drawn to every outside stimulus that wanders into your view. Meditation is the path that gives you back your control.

There are many techniques of meditation and with the use of some special meditation tools, supplies and products; it becomes easier to develop the necessary meditative skills to direct your life positively with directed intention.

In short, choose a technique of meditation -- and there are lots of choices -- that will put you on a path of self-determination to success. You may find yourself experimenting with many different approaches and perhaps a combination of methods that fits you well. But you have to start the process and get on with it.

Good luck! The journey will be exciting and enlightening, but more importantly, the destination brings you whatever joy you seek
by: C. Keane

Meditation Thru Music

YoYo's World .:. Finding Yourself Through Music

 

Many people, as do I, believe that we are all ultimately greater than our physical bodies. As Jesus said, "your body is a temple," and so created to house something much greater. What I'm talking about here is your soul, essence, Braham, spirit, etc.

Convincing you of this fact and explaining why it's important to get "in touch" with this entity is beyond the scope of this article. What I do want to cover is a method that, with practice, can help you experience your truly mysterious side.

(If you would like to learn more on this belief system, I suggest just reading books written by the following authors, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and Lao Tzu. Many titles written by these articles can be found in YoYo's Bookstore.

Who is really listening?

What I'm about to describe is a meditation that can be done anywhere as long as you have music at your disposal.

Remember the goal is to get in touch with your deeper self and experience a new reality. This method is going to help you not get lost in all of that jargon that goes around in your head. Once you silence that inner dialogue, you will open the doorway and allow a new dimension of yourself to be experienced.

  1. Get comfy: Sit down or lay down in your favourite comfy spot. Don't fall asleep!!
  2. Plug in some tunes: I suggest music that is soothing and enjoyable to you. When I do this exercise, I prefer to listen to jazz but that is not the only genre I do this with.
  3. Relax: Close your eyes and let the music put you in a calm state.
  4. Listen: Concentrate on listening to the music. Try not to make judgements like, "Oh my favourite part is coming up!" You'll lose concentration.
  5. Inquire: Ask the question, "who is really listening?" Yes your brain has to go through processes to filter the music to you but who is the listener?

Going deeper into meditation you may come to feel another presence within you. If you've gotten this far, be happy in knowing you've just found yourself. It is a difficult feeling to experience if you haven't felt this before. It's like a floaty, mysterious presence. You'll feel that something you can't quite seem to put your finger on.

Once you've finally experienced this, your goal now is to grow a deep connection. Make it as deep as you can. Try and experience yourself everyday for about five minutes or the length of a song. Over time you will get better so don't get frustrated. Just allow it to happen. It also seems like you've failed 2/3 of the way through, so don't give up on yourself.

Meditation Thru Music

YoYo's World .:. Finding Yourself Through Music

 

Many people, as do I, believe that we are all ultimately greater than our physical bodies. As Jesus said, "your body is a temple," and so created to house something much greater. What I'm talking about here is your soul, essence, Braham, spirit, etc.

Convincing you of this fact and explaining why it's important to get "in touch" with this entity is beyond the scope of this article. What I do want to cover is a method that, with practice, can help you experience your truly mysterious side.

(If you would like to learn more on this belief system, I suggest just reading books written by the following authors, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and Lao Tzu. Many titles written by these articles can be found in YoYo's Bookstore.

Who is really listening?

What I'm about to describe is a meditation that can be done anywhere as long as you have music at your disposal.

Remember the goal is to get in touch with your deeper self and experience a new reality. This method is going to help you not get lost in all of that jargon that goes around in your head. Once you silence that inner dialogue, you will open the doorway and allow a new dimension of yourself to be experienced.

  1. Get comfy: Sit down or lay down in your favourite comfy spot. Don't fall asleep!!
  2. Plug in some tunes: I suggest music that is soothing and enjoyable to you. When I do this exercise, I prefer to listen to jazz but that is not the only genre I do this with.
  3. Relax: Close your eyes and let the music put you in a calm state.
  4. Listen: Concentrate on listening to the music. Try not to make judgements like, "Oh my favourite part is coming up!" You'll lose concentration.
  5. Inquire: Ask the question, "who is really listening?" Yes your brain has to go through processes to filter the music to you but who is the listener?

Going deeper into meditation you may come to feel another presence within you. If you've gotten this far, be happy in knowing you've just found yourself. It is a difficult feeling to experience if you haven't felt this before. It's like a floaty, mysterious presence. You'll feel that something you can't quite seem to put your finger on.

Once you've finally experienced this, your goal now is to grow a deep connection. Make it as deep as you can. Try and experience yourself everyday for about five minutes or the length of a song. Over time you will get better so don't get frustrated. Just allow it to happen. It also seems like you've failed 2/3 of the way through, so don't give up on yourself.

Pondering the Mirror Of Life

Pondering the Mirror of life!



When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like.

Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues.

When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.

Posted By Rene@cafeMom

Journal-My Tuesday

It was good. Better then Yesterday Back hurts alittle but not as bad as yesterday. Kids have been really good today they did their chores. and I did alittle bit of laundry and some Light Cleaning.

Jessica had a interesting day at school. While her teacher was teaching her water broke lol Jessica said it was sorta gross she Later gave birth to twins a Boy and a Girl at the Hospital..

Anyways Not much Going on today. I did add some music to the Blog, Really mellow makes me so calm when I come here. So I hope you enjoy it as much as me.

BREAKING NEWS FOR JANUARY 15TH

I just opened up a temporary shop to sale my scrapbook products
Please remember this site is temp until My friend has her new store
up and running.
please let me know if you have any problems with the new shop

Please remember that there is no direct download after purchasing
Once i receive a email of your payment
i will send your file within 1 hour up to 48 hours
please be patient.
I will send your file to the email address you used for
paypal.

Astro Traveling


astral projection

Everyone has Out Of Body (OOB) experiences every time they dream,
but few have them as intentional learning experiences. By publishing this technique
we know we are going somewhere very controversial. Some say that OOB or
Astral travel should not be taught at all, or only while in the presence of
a very experienced guide. Others feel that being OOB in the dream body,
astral body, or whatever you want to call it, is much less dangerous than
being in our physical body. Also, it is cited that self-knowledge brings
self-control, and lack of it often goes hand in hand with being out of
control. In many traditions, it is felt that you will be taught what you
need to know exactly when you need to know it. Perhaps just the fact that
you are reading this now points to this being the time when you are supposed
to deal with it. But it may not be so. In any event, the Meditation Society
of America is dedicated to sharing techniques, not to hiding them, and it is
with this in mind that we share this basic methodology. Whether or not you try it is up to you.
The Astral Body - A Short Summary of Traditional Teachings
Our physical body is built and maintained by eating food. If you ingest
nutritious food you will be healthy, and if you eat junk, your health will
suffer. Your astral body is a higher, finer body composed of subtler
material. It is built by feeding yourself what is healthy for your spirit.
And that would be good acts, words, and thoughts. These "sattvic", righteous
actions produce the holy material that makes up the astral body. But, if you
fill with negativity, you will not have enough energy to form a strong functional astral body.
One way to help understand the way this works is to picture your astral body
as a balloon. Your kindness, acts of charity, compassion, prayers,
meditations, good intentions, and so on, produce astral energy that fills
the balloon. When it is full enough, you will rise out of the confines of
your physical body. When it is even fuller, you will escape the pull of
Mother Earth's gravity and be able to roam the solar system. This goes on
until your astral body fills totally, and the balloon bursts. Your
pre-preatomic energy is free to join the infinite divine creative
consciousness that permeates the universe, and you are free of all limitations, be they physical or astral. Still using the balloon analogy, it is said that negativity will both dissipate the astral energy you had been filled with, as well as placing
heavier, denser energy inside. This loss of "good" and gain of "bad" will
affect you as much as hydrogen leaking out of a real balloon and putting
sand into it. You will be bogged down and not be able to ascend to the
heavens. This is a powerful life-changing situation. It is said that one
moment of anger will negate whatever gains months of meditation had brought.
Similarly, the intention you have for using it is felt to be very important
in the construction of the astral body. As an example, let's say that all
you wanted to use it for was to go to a card game, leave your body, and in
the astral, be able to see the other players' hands. Your materialistic
desires and plans to have an unfair advantage would probably deplete you of
astral energy to the degree that you wouldn't be able to use your astral
body any more than a deflated balloon can fly. Although winning at cards
initially may seem attractive, there is no doubt that spiritual evolution is
a far greater treasure. So if you do try astral travel, it is suggested that
this be the intention motivating your use of this technique.
The astral body is the body you will take with you when you die. The greater
the quantity of astral energy, the higher stage of evolution you will be
reborn into. You can't have any faith in your body, mind, or emotions
surviving death. Only your consciousness, your awareness, has this potential
The astral body is the vehicle that carries it until liberation, and the
re-union with everything, everywhere, takes place. This is when you
experience the Divine Body and live happily ever after. Basic Astral Technique
After preparing yourself in whatever way you have found to enter into a meditative, relaxed state, do the following:
1) Close your eyes and visualize yourself sitting or laying down in
whatever
position you are in. See yourself in as great a detail as you can.
2) Visualize your astral body getting up and leaving your physical
body and
floating to a position approximately 10 feet above your physical
body.
3) Float up through the ceiling of the room you are in, or right up
in the
sky if you are outdoors. When you are about 100 feet in the air,
look down
and see the area you were just in. See the rooftops, treetops,
lights,
whatever.
4) Float very much higher and then sees the area beneath you.
5) Think of somewhere on earth and let yourself be pulled there. This
usually happens instantaneously with the first place you think of.
It is
suggested you preplan your "flight". Look around. Be conscious of
your
surroundings without commenting, comparing, or judging. No mental
chatter!
6) Let your self, your awareness, be pulled back to high above where
you
started. Now, let the universe pull you to wherever you are supposed
to go.
Be silently conscious of your surroundings, learn what you are
supposed to,
and be pulled back again.
7) Float back down to above the building or area where you started.
Look at
the environment, and float down through the rooftop to the top of
the room
you started in, about 10 feet above your body.
8) Look down at your physical body, and let yourself be pulled back
into it.
Lay or sit still and let your physical body absorb what your astral
body has
learned. Silently witness the process.
9) Live happily ever after.

Journal-My Monday

Well After the Morning Vent, Didn't do much really but work on my blog and read some emails and talked to My friends. Then took a nap cause my pain meds kicked in. I'm going to be so glad when i don't have to take those things anymore they are just making me groggier and groggier. I haven't heard from the Doctor today So I hope I will soon. The Doctor Told me My Surgery would probably be around January 28th or Beginning of February so we will see. Guess they are having problems getting the confirmation papers from my Cardio doctor and primary. *sigh its all a waiting game. My tumor is already 11 cm so what they are gonna wait till its 20cm before they do anything. Its already giving me problems. Last night i couldn't sleep my leg was hurting so bad but yet it was numb weird. Last 3 days my back has been KILLING ME i don't know why. *sigh I cannot wait to have this surgery so I can get on with my life.

I want to start working again, I was planning on working at the Hospital at night but Im not to sure yet. I hope I can do something at the hospital afterwards but we will see. Im still going to apply for the Lab Service Rep at my local Hospital its a Part time job but I am thinking I should get a full time 12 hour shift but the bad part about that is that Hospital is pretty far. So I dont know what Ill do just yet, It sure would be nice to have some extra money coming into the house.

*sigh ahhh well thats been my day ..I did fall asleep around 7 pm with the kids, and woke up at 11 pm went to walmart to get some groceries and then came back home...I'm hoping i can go back to sleep but we will see.

What is Gnostism?

Gnosticism teaches that we are eternal souls and that the Other Side is our true Home and reality.. We incarnate (on Earth, which is are only Hell due to it's negativity and suffering) in order to learn and advance spiritually.. We learn more from the tough times than from the good times.. like the saying goes, "Learn from your mistakes"

So.. We create a chart and choose our spirit guide, before incarnation, which is when we really only have free-will, after incarnation, we think we have free will but we're really sub-consciously following our chart.. The chart holds the major points in our lives, chosen by us, depending on the lessons we want to learn, such as number of marriages, divorce, number of children and so on.. these are all learning experiences and nothing to do with failure.. It was all pre-ordained by us, with the approval of God and the Elders..

We can divert from our chart from time to time, however, we usually get back on track before our journey ends, with the help and guidance of our Spirit Guides, Angels and loved ones that have crossed over.. When we have completed our journey.. We simply "Go Home"

There is truly no such a thing as "sin" as understood and explained by the church. In fact.. Sin is Aramaic, Jesus' language, for "Missing the target" as in shooting a bow and arrow.. "Aramaic" is the language we still speak on the Other Side.. our universal language.

Earth is our only Hell and School of Hard Knox...

Dark Souls exist but no being named Satan.. (Except my husband's ex-wife) but that's a different story all together.. Lucifer was sent by God to watch over the Dark Souls until the day they decide to return to God, which can only happen after death, then Lucifer, angels and guides, try to guide them back to God.. but.. it's the soul's decision what path he or she wants to take.. Lucifer was simply given a bad wrap by the church but he's a good angel and his name stands for "Light Holder or Bringer"

God is ALL LOVING.. not condemning, egotistical or any other imperfect attribute, this is the church giving Him/Her "human emotions." God understands that we have to make mistakes in order to learn from them.. so forgiveness is really automatic and truly unnecessary.. He/She knows if we are truly sorry and have learned from it, which is the ultimate goal..

Religions and the different Spiritual Beliefs are simply God's different methods of teaching us along the way because of the different personalities in all of us.. Some people simply have to believe in sin, a vengeful God and Hell, a Satan, etc.. So it doesn't hurt them to, if it keeps them on their path.. But we believe that White Souls don't really need to believe in such things because we would not be capable of purposely causing true attrocities anyway.. In other words, I would not think of going up to a person and stealing from them or murdering, just for gain or enjoyment.. Only a Dark Soul would, and no amount of "Fear of God" would stop them, but that's the churches' ways of keeping their followers in attendance, since only the church can "help" them get to heaven. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a form of mind control.

The bottom line is that regardless of what you believe in, once your journey is complete, you will return "Home"

There is Karma and Karmic Debt.. Someone who murders for gain, will be murdered in this life or the next.. Dark souls don't have spirit guides, angels or charts.. upon death, if they choose to continue down their path... they are simply thrown back into incarnatio. So, in a sense, they do return to Hell... but only until they choose to return to God.. Therefore, Hell doesn't have to be permanent..

We believe in the "Duality" of Mother and Father God..Mother Azna is the Emotional part of God, while Father Om is the Intellect. (See that post for more explanation of Mother Azna)

Hope this explains Gnosticism a little and makes sense to all of you...

by GoBryan

Positive Thoughts

Our thoughts are not simply ethereal pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas that we think can shape our lives and drive us toward success and happiness or failure and distress. How you think and feel can have a profound effect on your ability to recognize opportunity, how well you perform, and the outcome of the goals that you've set for yourself. When you maintain an optimistic outlook and make an effort to harbor only positive thoughts, you begin to create the circumstances conducive to you achieving what you desire. You feel in control and few of life's challenges seem truly overwhelming because it is in your nature to expect a positive conclusion. An optimistic mind is also an honest one. Staying positive does not mean that you ignore difficulties or disregard limitations. Instead, it means spending time focusing only on the thoughts that are conducive to your well-being and progress.

Positive thinking dramatically increases your chances of success in any endeavor. When you're sure that you are worthy and that achievement is within your grasp, you start to relax and look for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. You are more likely to imagine positive situations or outcomes and disregard the thoughts related to giving up, failure, or roadblocks. What the mind expects, it finds. If you anticipate joy, good health, happiness, and accomplishment, then you will experience each one. Thinking positively may sound like a simple shift in attention - and it is - but it is a mind-set that must be developed. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, try immediately replacing it with a constructive or optimistic one. With persistence, you can condition your mind to judge fleeting, self-defeating thoughts as inconsequential and dismiss them.

It is within your power to become as happy, content, or successful as you make up your mind to be. Staying positive may not have an immediate effect on your situation, but it will likely have a profound and instantaneous effect on your mood and the quality of your experiences. In order for positive thinking to change your life, it must become your predominant mind-set. Once you are committed to embracing positive thinking, you'll start believing that everything that you want is within your grasp.

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Many Blessings!

Rene' S.





More About Me:

Real Name: Heather

Birth Sign: Capricorn

Nationality: Doing some Research on my mom’s side, I learned that my great grandmother and great grandfather came from bloodline of Gypsy's. After Coming to America in the 1920 from Wales England, they were not actually from the UK. With Bloodline to Ramona and Ireland, you can find a little bit of Gypsy Characteristics in me and in my family.

I am Also Arabic and My Father is Muslim. In addition, coming from a bloodline of Moroccans who also has wonderful characteristics and taste. I'm proud of both sides.

Born: United States

Favorite Colors: Olive Green, Aqua Blue, Hunter Green, Burgundy or Maroon

Favorite Foods: Pizza, Spaghetti , anything Italian

Favorite Music: I like Medieval Music, Celtic, Heaver Metal (sometimes),Italian Music, Spanish Music, Arabic Music, Just about anything that Follows my Moods. I Love Gospel Music  as well because if just lifts me up when I’m down gives me that hope, Maybe it’s the energy they put into making the music I don’t know but I do Love it.. I also Love some of the Old Style Music like Kenny Rogers, Lionel Richie and Other songs from the 70's. Songs that Our Mellow and Relaxing I love also. I also like R&B and some Rap music as well. Classical musical and I Enjoy Orchestra .Yes, See I’m very versatile.

Favorite Books: Sylvia Brown, Books on Reiki, Fantasy Books with Vampires, Witches & Dragons or anything Magic.

Favorite TV Shows: George Lopez, Reba, Medium, Ghost Whisper, and Ghost Hunters & More that I can't remember right now off the top of my head.

Religion: Gnostic, Christian, Islamic. I believe in One God, the God of All, He had 100 Names that I'm sure we've all heard of few times in our Life... I believe in a few religions. I believe we All Have Spirit Guides who help us daily bases and will never leave your side. At times, they are mistaking as your Guardian Angels, they are just as wonderful... Mine are Karen and John. (Karen I want to Thank You for the Knowledge you have given me and made me Grow as a Human Being and You helped me Learn About Myself. I am No Longer Afraid of what’s to come but to go forward with life and look at it in a Positive Way. You have changed me for the Better. Thank you for being there comforting me. John, You have taught me many things in this life. You have always found ways to enlighten me when I needed it. You’ve always showed me there was a light at the end of the darkness Thank you for being there  while I was lost and scared Thank you. )

Other: I'm Very Spiritual, I believe in Reincarnation, Spirits and Astro traveling. I also have the Gift of Clairvoyance and Clairosenses. I have also learned that my Mission in life is as a Spiritual Healer. I’m still learning to enhance my Gifts every day and I love to help those on this Earth and those who have passed.

Children: I have six Beautiful Children (2 Girls & 4 Boys) Myana- 13, Jessica- 12, Sebastian -10, Gabriel -9, Elisha-7 and Joshua-5. They are my Pride and Joy even On the Bad Days lol




You Are A Gold Girl





You're dependable and hard working. You never miss a deadline - and you're never late.
You have a clear sense of right and wrong. You're very detail oriented.
You get frustrated when your friends are sloppy - or when they don't follow through.
You're on top of things, and you wish that everyone else was!
What Color Girl Are You?

Hahah i dunno about Never Late but Um I try NOT To be LMAOOO

January 14, 2008

Journal-Morning Vent

I'm Soooooooooooooooooooooo Annoyed today Already and its 8 am Uhg No matter what time I wake the kids up to go to school they always find away to be Almost late OR LATE! I'm so tired of it. My Husband Cannot get them ready in the morning he is the Slowest of ALL. So Here I'm rushing to get their hair done, make sure they got their sweaters on and etc etc. Why do women always gotta do everything? I'm fed up! I just wish the kids didn't give us a hard time getting up in the morning..like i said no matter what time I wake them up they find a way to be late. *sigh Sorry All Just Venting

I Support the Children





please click here to add"

I Support The Animals


LOOK AT THIS TAG


Isnt this tag the most Sweetests YET Most Sadest Tag you ever saw!!!
The tag was made by The Talented heather aka WildChildz

January 13, 2008

2007 Layout


Well Im not all use to making Personal Layouts then I making scrap tags and making Scrapbook Designs. But I do love this photo of my girls when they where smaller and wanted to do something with this Kit called "Twinkle & Sparkle" By Sarah Jones

2007 Lay Outs



2 Layouts above is Gabriel playing outside
Layout QP by Nana's Attic

Above is Jessica
QP by Nana's Attic
Above is the Kids during our BBQ in our Back yard
QP by Nana's Attic

Layout above is Myana my Oldest
Kit was made by My Good Friend RaeRae

Pictures of Kids Christmas Present

Here are some Pictures of the Swing Set and SeaSaw and JungleGem we got the kids. Jessica already got hurt on the JungleGem which she had to be takin to the Er..She is doing Much better now.

Some Older Pictures

Heres some Older Pictures I put into a Slide Show I hope to add More New Pics Soon


journal-Jessica's 10th Birthday


Well today was a fun Day, The Kids did their chores and Then we had a Little Birthday Party For Jessica who is ten years old today. Gosh do they Grow up Fast. We had a Beautiful Birthday Cake and cupcakes which they devoured in no time. Jessica's cake was the cutest it had a little Princess crown with Jewels in it and a Princess wand. It was to cute. She had a Great Time


She also went out to dinner with my mom last night to the Olive Garden and they all sang Happy Birthday to her. She loves that Attention unlike my Oldest daughter and I who went on our Birthdays we did not want them to sing hahah To Loud. She had a lot of fun.

She also Got a New play Guitar which teachers how to play and she got a real Guitar which she will be leaving at Nana's House (Mommies Request) so that it wont get broken by our four little boys lol.

Other then that its been raining off and On here and it's gotten really cool Outside. So have not really done anything today beside that and work on the Blog. I am Hoping to Create something today. But we will see.
-Heather

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I support the Artists










Welcome

Hello All Who is Visiting.
Hi Im Heather, Mother to 6 I live a Crazy Stressful busy life. This Blog is about all those crazy moments and memories I live thru. I hope you enjoy my blog and make sure to keep checking back there's always something new going on.
Thanks for visiting!





Scrapbook Layout Done for Me By RaeRae

Heres a Layout that My Best Friend RaeRae Made for me Of my Son Eliysha who is 4 yrs old. She Loves him So Much. Thanks RaeRae!